Talking to your parents about their plans
Many of the families we see come to us through an adult child. These notes are for anyone who wants to raise the subject with a parent.
Start with a reason
It is easier to begin with something that has happened, such as a friend's illness, a hospital stay or a news story, than with the subject of death itself.
Ask what your parent would want
Ask what they would want if they fell ill or could no longer manage their affairs. Let them answer in their own time.
In the first conversation, try to understand what they want before you discuss any documents.
Talk about people first
Most parents care more about the people involved than about the documents. Ask who they would want to make decisions for them, who should look after a younger or dependent family member, and what should happen to the family home.
Keep the family informed
If you have brothers or sisters, tell them about the conversation. Disputes often start when one child knows more than the others.
Take one step at a time
A parent does not need to do everything at once. A CPF nomination takes a few minutes online.
For an older parent, a Lasting Power of Attorney is often the most urgent document. It can only be made while they still have mental capacity.
If your parent is not ready
Leave it for a few weeks and come back to it. Some parents find it easier to speak to someone outside the family.
Family members are welcome at every meeting with us, and the first meeting is free. Book a first meeting
Official sources
Last reviewed: October 2026.
Related
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Ten questions on your will, nominations, Lasting Power of Attorney and property. It takes about three minutes.
Start the estate checkThis guide is general information, not legal, tax or financial advice. Rules and fees can change, so please check the official websites listed above.